[auroraphaela]

Thursday, January 17, 2008

OpenHouse Day1

Today was freaking horrible for me. Well, it sort of began yesterday night when my parents literally screamed at each other. For once, I felt nothing, not scared, not afraid, not affected. At least, not as much as before. So much that I could continue watching dramas on my laptop that my bro asked, 'How can you be so carefree'. Then come today, I was very upset and irritated when the teachers just want things done their way and do not take our opinions into consideration. Damn! And you know how overwhelming Open Houses can be. There was only like 6-8 of us working to talk to the students and to engage them in our activity. What does she want? There's only one me, one pair of aching legs, horrible sore throat, a dry mouth and I'm only human. Can YOU like freaking give me a break? After like going a few rounds with the different students coming in, I was just about to take a break when I hear my name to bring another group. When I just ended, I hear my name again. JOYCE! JOYCE! JOYCE! For once, I hate my name. And what's that? Other then calling out my name, your mouth has no other purpose is it? Can't you interact with the students yourself? Aren't you a lecturer in the school? Is it only the student's role to be talking to the students and your role to be that of standing there like a vase? Can't you see we are all freaking busy? If you ain't helping then get yourself out of the room! Shit! My blood pressure's rising already. That's not all! What really pissed me off was when this group of students came in and I got them to leave their belongings at the side. Then, I asked if they wanted to join the on-going music and movement activity. They said, "IT'S OKAY! WE'LL JUST LOOK AROUND" Then, I left them to LOOK AROUND and she actually called me saying, "they want to join the activity bring them over". And I replied, "No! They want to just LOOK AROUND" Guess what? That woman actually got pissed with me and insisted firmly, "they wanted to join but you walk away" What the hell!!! Were you the one talking to them or was I the one. They said they want to WALK AROUND so what do you want me to do? Like freaking insist like you freaking did and impose your ideas on them: YOU MUST PARTICIPATE BECAUSE I THINK YOU WANT TO. Or drag them into the circle. GET REAL! It's not like I'm getting paid or anything. I'm volunteering my time and energy into this event for this?? and some lousy CCA points. I don't even understand how I got myself into this. For the second time, I consider leaving the club. Not that I'm running away from problems but I see no point in doing things that I don't enjoy. Why should I waste my time getting my blood boil when I can be home like my other friends working on their assignments? And it's not like I'm being appreciated. I pack the room, unpack the boxes, put the things away and then, help out for Open House. All I get is this?? You go on and on how we should be but it doesn't make sense. I just feel much more resentful. I'm worn off...

And when I got home, my brother turns up telling me. There's no dinner. I'm like where's mum and he went dunno, never call her. Then what you want me to do? You got no dinner you don't know how to check with mum or go but something back? What do you take me for? I just got home ad you give me this shit? So I'm suppose to like buy dinner while you continue gaming? What the hell? You were the cause of their quarrel and then you asked me how I can be so carefree. Check yourself out today! Shoots. I think I'm getting so resentful that now I'm pissed with my bro when I wasn't earlier. Anyway, talked to some friends today. Thing about Awal, he doesn't broach on the topic. He talks about everything else and keeps my mind off things. Talked with Yanyan too. We both poured out quit a lot over each other. Alina too. Thing is both of us ain't communicating. Lol! It is as though we both just want to talk and get things off...And Kor wanted to talk to me too but I was too sick of repeating it all over. So yar. This entry is dedicated to him and all of you who are interested in how horrible my life has been these days.

+ [ auroraphaela ] ~我被你压得快喘不过气来了~ +
blogged at : 10:46 PM